Flight School Confidential

We are Fwaming Dwagon!

• Student: Can you do me a favor? If you have to talk to me on the radio during my solo, can you use the callsign Dragon? Cessna just sounds so lame.
• Instructor: I'll do you one better. How 'bout Flaming Dragon.
• Student: Awesome.
• Instructor: So when you call me up for help, I'll be like, "Oh ok, Flaming Dragon, Fuckface, whatever your name is. First, take a big step back... and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE."
• Student: I would die laughing if I heard that over the radio.

• Student: (on radio) Coastal traffic, Cessna 12345, turning left base for one-eight, Coastal.
• Instructor: No we're not, remember? We're following them. (pointing out aircraft ahead)
• Student: (on radio) No we're not, we're following you.

Don't use Top Gun jokes to excuse your cruddy flying, especially when your CFI has already been at work for 10 hours today.

• Instructor: (on upwind) Why are we doing 80? Vy is only 67.
• Student: I feel the need, the need for speed.
• Instructor: I will punch you.
• Instructor: (on the next upwind) You're doing 80 again.
• Student: I'll say it again...
• Instructor: I will throw you right out of this aircraft.

• Instructor: You just did a 2G negative pushover.
• Student: Is that within standards?
• Instructor: No. No it's not.

• Instructor: If you almost kill us, you owe me a drink.
• Student: What counts as "almost?"
• Instructor: Trust me, you'll know.